It is sunday and to be honest I didn´t feel to well the last days. I know everyone has those days of being in doubts with yourself, your appearance, your choices in life and what you have accomplished so far. I bet even Ella Fitzgerald had those issues 😉
Most people I know or who think knew me, are absolutely convinced that I´m a burst of convidence, fun, good jokes ( I consider myself as a hilarious joke teller and I have proof 😀 ) and positivity.
Well – I am not!
At least not all the time!
Like everyone else I sometimes overthink situations, I sometimes feel like I haven´t accomplished anything in my life so far, I am lovesick like everyone else, probably even more than usual because I´m not the luckiest one when it comes to dates or relationships, but my point is: I do have issues and I do suffer like the rest of you. Maybe in different situations, maybe over different things but the feeling is something we share.
The main thing I´ve leraned over the past couple years and especially months is :
Most of the insecurities you´re carrying around with you is due to other people ( narrow mind/sight of view, bullying, having insecurities themselves) AND because you tend to compare yourself to others!
It´s important to have rolemodels but try not to forget what feels good for yourself, what makes you happy, what makes you creative and how you create your own little comfortzone.
Out of experience I know that treating yourself in a respectful and caring way is always a good start of loving yourself. Little things like taking a long shower or bath, listening to your favorite music, putting on some lotion and to come to grips with yourself is an easy step to feel yourself.
Feeling yourself is one of the basic ingredients to more self-confidence because when you know who your are, how you feel and how to find back to yourself in situations where you feel kind of lost and overwhelmed, your world won´t be shattered completely if something bad happens.
Find something you can do, that makes you happy and preferably something that invoves you and your body because that will support the bonds you´ll need to gain more confidence. I personally start doing some nice make up, take my time, meanwhile listening to some good music and have a little photo-shoot by myself and in case I don´t even feel like getting up, I grab a paper and pen to write all the shit down that is circling around inside my head. reding it after some days will remind you of how you coped this situation, which is also a great success!
Write down the things you already succeeded! Like for example the difficult test at school or living in a different city all by yourself, your family management, how you solved a problem by yourself ( even without asking Google 😉 ) or the jobinterview that went well! Do not forget the little things because every single day there is some small success – you just need to find it!
With all this in your mind, have a confident sunday and try to bond with yourself step by step